I couldn’t understand why I felt so flat all weekend. I had done almost everything possible to make myself feel good. Went for a long walk. Had a great night out with my boyfriend. Went to the gym twice. Cooked and prepared lunches for the week. Made banana muffins. Watched the latest Game of Thrones episode. What was their to be upset about? Life was good.
It then dawned on me, as it had so many times before. I was still paying for that deliciously sweet, pink, mouth-watering cosmopolitan. I was still paying for that bottle of red wine that I proceeded with afterwards. And just so we have data to play with, I was still paying for the 7 glasses of alcohol I had on Friday; at 9pm on Sunday. How?
Alcohol by nature, is a natural depressant. I’m not expecting jaws dropping, you already knew that – or at least you should have. Before I go on, lets just appreciate human nature. Isn’t it funny that society chooses a substance for consumption, generally on special occasions; that we accept is a natural Debbie downer?
Furthermore, alcohol has been scientifically proven to cause mental and physical health problems. Whether it was an association study between humans with mental/physical conditions and their alcohol intake; or some ethically inappropriate study on rats and the behaviour of neurotransmitters in their brain. Either way, you cannot dispute the correlation.
Humans are interesting creatures. We accept the dangers anyway. Whether it is to save face in the moment of what is indicative of a good time or just simply because we lack the self discipline (eg. me).
Alcohol affects people in different ways. That’s no surprise. The instructions which made us each who we are, are all unique. Therefore how alcohol affects our mind and body will be entirely different from one person to the next. For this reason, you might be lucky to either a; be completely unaffected by how alcohol can affect you or b; be completely oblivious to its effects. Regardless, it is important you understand when to recognise it has had its way with you.
My rant on this topic, is not about eradicating alcohol from your life. It is about being aware of its effect on your body. I’ve searched my mind today for the variety of reasons I could be feeling so down. Am I unhappy? Am I disappointed with my current place in life? I went through these questions in my mind, to realise I am searching way too hard for something to be wrong. It led me to think, there must be something else going on here. I realised then, as I have before, drinking doesn’t always agree with me. Yes, at the time I enjoy myself. I am unrivalled with the effects of what liquid courage does for me. However, I do need to weigh up whether its worth it?
I’ve spent my day searching for issues in my life, because I couldn’t recognise myself and had to understand why. I couldn’t see happiness in myself today and that upset me more than the enjoyment I gained from my night of fun. I am unfortunately getting dark with this post and it was not my original intention, but it may be somewhat timely.
What am I grateful for? Understanding what has happened. Something isn’t wrong in my life, I am simply victim to substance running through my brain. It will be gone tomorrow (or else) and I’ll be ordering another pinot soon enough. But this time, a little more educated, with a better memory of what the aftermath felt like. Who knows, maybe eventually I’ll give it up altogether.
'Be Remarkable' has developed through one's own individual journey of becoming the best version of themselves, and still is. Through BR, she has been able to grow closer to the 'true' version of who she wants to become. Whilst it is not an easy process, change takes time and is without doubt challenging. It certainly is an exhilarating process, one she wants to share with others, and help others to choose.